Fun

The Over-The-Air Party Manifesto

A satirical platform. Vote early, vote often, receive nothing.

1. Plank 1: The Parallel Booster Charger

   A charger that boosts. We pledge to keep describing it in the future tense until the heat death of the universe.

2. Plank 2: Maps, Eventually

   Navigation shall be provided by a spinner. The spinner is stable, loyal, and has never once given wrong directions.

3. Plank 3: Music Controls

   Every rider deserves control over their music. Every rider will, for now, control it with their phone, like a caveman with a very nice bike.

4. Plank 4: OTA For All

   Over-the-air updates for every owner, delivered over the air, which is the only place anything is currently delivered.

5. Plank 5: The F77 OBC Retrofit

   An onboard charger retrofit for the F77, scheduled for the next window. Windows are a state of mind.

6. Plank 6: Changelogs

   Each update shall ship with a changelog, written in invisible ink, filed under "Improvements and Bug Fixes".

7. Plank 7: Transparent Timelines

   Every date will be approximate, every approximation will be optimistic, and every optimism will be a screenshot.